Up until just recently Christmas has been one of my favorite times of the year. Once I had kids though it has slowly became the time of year I dread. Which is odd, because I always thought having kids would make me love the holiday's even more. Maybe it's just me.
The holiday's always bring up stress over money which in turn cause many arguments for Tim and I, stress over how to make sure we visit everyone and not leave anyone out, stress over making sure we can get the kids gifts or what to get them. Failure as a parent. That's a big one for me.
This year has been no exception. Tim didn't really "trust" me to go shopping by myself, whatever that means, and no one would watch the kids for us. So that left us to shop for them while they were with us. 3 weeks before Christmas. Not a good idea in case you were planning on trying it out. The store was insanely busy, Mason wouldn't stay in the cart and insisted on touching every toy, Tim was annoyed with all the people, I was annoyed that he was crabby and rushing me. This resulted in us buying the boys a train table and calling it quits. No thinking things over and making a rational decision. Just bought it and got out. I didn't even get Taylor anything yet. Which means I will have to go back out to the stores, when it will be even more crazy.
And if that wasn't enough to make me want to cry. As we were paying for the train table Tim stepped away from the cart long enough for Mason to dive off of it and land on his head on the concrete. Super. Luckily he is OK. Just a goose egg on the top of his head!
I am stressed because I still feel like we don't do enough for the boys on Christmas. I never plan ahead for gifts and I am always rushing at the last minute to find things. I feel like we are never able to get enough for them. Yes, I know Christmas in not about the gifts, but we are not a religious family, we don't go to church. So for me I guess, Christmas is about Santa and presents. Of course I know they will enjoy the train table, I just wish we could do a little more for them. I mean we won't even be able to do stockings this year.
I just feel like a lousy parent. But I really have no control over it. I have no income and have no control over the money and what we buy. It sucks sometimes.
I am just having a bad day, and need to get it out.
How do you handle the holiday stress? Any tips?