Yesterday as I was playing in the living room with Taylor, she began saying Mama to get my attention. I would then say "Mama, Ma. Ma. Ma." and she would repeat with a smile. Here first word. The boys both said dada first. I had the biggest smile on my face, wow she is getting so big.
It made me think back to when we found out we were pregnant.
I remember it was in the evening, and I went into the bathroom to pee on that little stick, already knowing what the results would be. But thinking that there is no way, I had a IUD in. NO way would it fail, and NO way would that happen to us.
I knew it though. My period always came back right away after I gave birth despite breastfeeding or not, birth control or not. As soon as I miss one a red flag goes up, it's just not normal for me. That and well the nausea and spewing every day gave it away.
I waited the few minutes to see how many lines appeared. I seen the control line, and then I watched as that second line slowly appeared. I nearly fainted. I was shocked. I just couldn't believe that I was pregnant with my 3rd child. THREE KIDS! Then denial set it. "No this can't be right, I have an IUD in". "These things are like 99.9% effective"! Then came the fear and panic about being pregnant with an IUD still in. Do I need to get it removed, do I leave it in?
I immediately called the doctor and told them I had a POSITIVE pregnancy test with and IUD in. They sounded really concerned. I was told that I needed to come into the office first thing in the morning for an ultrasound to make sure there was a baby, a baby that was alive. Then if I was indeed pregnant they would remove the IUD.
I don't think I slept that night.
I arrived at the doctor, alone. Tim couldn't take off work. I was scared that something would be wrong and that I had nobody there with me. I went back for the ultrasound, and as soon as she squarted that goey stuff on my belly and stuck the wand on there I seen it all. The baby, a perfect baby with a good steady heartbeat. And the IUD pushed way down not where it is suppose to be. The ultrasound tech said that she believed it was pushed down from the baby and not because it wasn't in right. She believed it was placed right and that I was just the .1% it didn't work for.
Once we knew that the baby was healthy and everything was developing normal, I had the IUD removed. It was quick and painless. I was told that the first 2 weeks after it was removed would be critical. There was a chance I could miscarry due to the removal.
Those were the longest 2 weeks ever. I just couldn't imagine loosing the baby, once I had seen him/her and knew it was growing inside me. After that 2 weeks I went back for another ultrasound and all was still looking good.
I was 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
I still don't know what happened with the IUD. The doctor doesn't think it was misplaced, Tim thinks it was. Obviously we will never know. I do know that I can not imagine my life the damn thing would have worked. Taylor wouldn't be here right now. She wouldn't be here saying mama and melting my heart. It is just crazy!
Even though that evening in the bathroom as I watched that second pink line appear, I was scared. Scared that there was no way we could manage with a third child. That made 3 kids 3 and under. Somehow we are making it, its hard, but we are going to make it.
She truly was and is a blessing to our life.
PS. Dear Mirena IUD, I have decided to trust you again. Even though I am glad you didn't work the first time, I would really appreciate it if you worked this time. NO more kids, at least for a long time! Thanks, a grateful mommy.