Thursday, September 30, 2010


Motherhood is so fulfilling.

Ever since I was little, I have always wanted kids, a family. I have always wanted to be a mom.

But this my friends, this is so much sweeter than I could have ever imagined.

Believe me, there are hard times. Times when I wonder if I am doing this parenting thing right.

Wondering what kind of adults they will become, hoping they make the right choices in life, but being there when they may not.

And just when I think I can't take another tantrum, anymore talking back, when I think the whining and crying, and screaming may never stop.

I am rewarded. I am rewarded with the smiles and laughter.

The pure joy on their face lets me know I doing something right.

Then there are the hugs and kisses, the "I love yous"! Music to my ears.

The one true joy in my life is being a mother.

I sure hope they know how much they mean to me. How much they are loved.

They complete me. My heart is bursting with love!

I am so grateful to have them in my life. And I cherish each and every moment with them.

This my friends, is what motherhood is all about, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


On Monday, the morning after Tim had to put Duke to sleep he took off work.

Since Duke getting sick and his death was unexpected, we did not have it in our budget to deal with it. As I mentioned before the main reason that we could not keep him in the ICU and possibly save him was because we had no money. Tim couldn't even get approved for a credit card to cover the expenses.

But we still had to pay for the 2 hours he was at the hospital, the IVs, the tests they ran, and of course putting him to sleep. In all, that night cost us about $300. We did not have that much in our account, so we had to borrow some money from his grandparents. I am grateful that we have family that will help us out when we are in need.

So that's how we spent our Monday. We buried our puppy in the morning and then headed to his grandparents house to get some money.

It was kind of a nice distraction to the previous night.

We spent some time outside getting some fresh air. Letting the kids run wild!

We brought our other dog, Lando with us to play with Tim's grandparents dog, Cooper. Which used to be our dog a long time ago (LONG story). The boys enjoyed running around chasing the dogs. Or in this case trying to get the dogs to chase them.

We escaped reality, even if it were just for a few hours.

We then had dinner, Timothy almost fell asleep on great grandma and grandpa's couch, which prompted our trip back home for bed.

We are doing OK. It's amazing how important a pet is to your family. Sometimes you don't realize it until they are gone. We still miss him bunches, but were going to be just fine.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Our Roller Coaster Weekend

This weekend has been crazy.

Friday we had to run some errands, and pay rent. It was around lunch time so we decided to eat at the new Chick Fil A that was built close to us. It was a little busy, but I LOVE their food and Tim had never been there. SO we ate and then let the kids play for a while. Since it was so nice out, we went to the park after lunch to let the kids run off a little more energy. Then we headed to Blockbuster to return a game, and finally home for the night. It was a relaxing day.
Saturday we had lunch at Main Street Cafe, which is a nice little cafe in town. We had never ate there, but it was yummy. The great thing about that lunch trip, was the boys ate all their food! This is unusual lately. Then we headed to the store because Tim needed some deodorant, and just to look around. The boys got a few toys, a new cap gun, and a remote control helicopter. I got Taylor some new hair bows. The funny thing is, we left forgetting the deodorant. If only we could have know what the next day would have brought, we would not have made this trip to the store.

We left the store, and went home to play with our new toys in the yard. It was another beautiful day, so we were taking advantage of it and playing in the yard. Partly to get them tired enough for bed!

The boys rode bikes.

Taylor took a nap.

The boys watched daddy test out the remote control helicopter.

Timothy made Mason push him around the yard. And Mason did it!

Taylor woke up from her nap, and played with mommy!

Timothy tried his new play gun.

It was another great day!

All the fun came to a screeching halt on Sunday evening. We realized Duke was sick. As I have mentioned before, he has not always been the best eater. I think part of it was Lando, our other dog, hogging the food. But he was getting pretty skinny, and was not wanting to eat or drink. Tim noticed his eyes were all gooped shut, and he would not walk. He appeared to be very weak.

Tim game him a bath and that helped his eyes, and he was trying to walk, but kept falling over. We tried to give him some water with a syringe and wet dog food all smashed up. He wouldn't really take it. I finally told Tim he needed to take him to the animal hospital because he was not looking good. I figured he had something, probably worms since he had never had any of his shots since we got him. He was only 8 months old.

So Tim left around 7 for the hospital. I knew in my heart that in my heart he was not going to be coming home, but I had hope that maybe they could get him better. I had guilt for not taking better care of him. We should have gotten him help awhile ago. This was all my fault.

Once at the hospital they took him right away and hooked him up to an IV for fluids and began to run tests. They found his Glucose level was severely low for a puppy, and his body temperature was so low it wouldn't even register on the thermometer. They began to try and warm him up with blankets, but it wasn't working.

Then they found the Hookworms, I knew it.

They tried to get him to eat, and he barely at anything. She had game him a slim chance of survival. We had a few options. We could put him in the ICU for 3 days and he could probably survive, but it would cost $1500, we could not afford that. She said they could put it on a credit card and we could make payments, but we were denied for the credit card due to our horrible credit. She then said we could take him home and do the IVs and stuff from home, but that she didn't think he would survive and would suffer.

We DID NOT want him to suffer, or for the kids to see him die.

It was then that Tim knew he had to put him to sleep. It was an incredibly hard decision for him. I was heartbroken. Yes, another dog was not really what I wanted, and yes he did upset me on a daily basis, but this was not what I wanted to happen.

Tim brought Duke home in a box. We sat on the living room floor and cried over him body, stoking his head. Tim was so sad he didn't know how to handle it, I was feeling an immense amount of guilt. Duke should still be here with us.

We buried him the next morning in the backyard. That was equally as hard. Tim is still sad, I still feel guilty, but we will make it. I know he is in a better place. I know he is not hurting.

I hope he knows how much we love him.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Today Is A New Day!

And I am going to smile!

I am so blessed to be the mommy to 3 awesome kids. They bring so much joy to my life.

And when I am having a bad day, all I have to see is their sweet faces.

Here their laughter. It's intoxicating!

So enough with all the negativity, and being a Debbie downer.

I only have 1 life to live, and I am going to make the most of it.

So yesterday was the first day of Fall. FALL! I cannot believe it is that time of year already.

Tim's work truck was at the shop, so we had to drop him off at work that morning. We then all went back home to get dressed since we left in our pajama's. We decided to meet daddy for lunch around noon and then head to the park. There was no point in driving all the way back home, because we would have to pick him up from work in a few hours.

We went to Kirkwood Park, which is one of my favorites! There is so much to do.

They have 2 different playgrounds. One for the older kids and one for the smaller guys. They also have spray fountains when it's hot out, and sand to play in.

It definitely did not feel like fall out though. It was hot, in the 90s.

We are really going to miss the parks during the winter!

And one of the best things about spending an afternoon running, climbing, swinging, and sliding.......

it wears them out. They take good naps, and go to bed early at night!

We had a great first day of Fall. Although after about 2 hours at the park, they were not the only ones hot and exhausted.

I had to drag them away. Ok so I didn't really drag them, but I had to bribe them with the promise of soda, just to get them to leave.

I love when I can tell they are so drained. Tired, hungry, and crabby but they just do not want to leave.

With sweat dripping off their faces, and sand in their shoes. We headed home. After a wonderful first day of fall.

And now that is is officially fall, I can start planning for Halloween, apple picking, pumpkin patch visits, bonfires in our backyard, and cooler weather!

How did you spend your day?

* I just want to say thank you for all the kind words on my previous post. It means more than you know.


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