Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Cleaning Out The Closet

Most people know that Tim's parent's and I have always had a strained relationship from the beginning. It has just been recently that I feel things are finally right and OK.

In the beginning when Tim and I first got together, things were fine. But as Tim and I started to spend more time together, is when things with his parents went downhill. I felt as though his mom in particular became controlling and nosey, always in our business. There were fights and arguments.

Most of the fights or arguments I probably have started. I would get jealous if she got her way, or if he choose her side over mine. It put a lot of stress on the relationship I had with Tim. We fought a lot about his parents in the early days. I know he felt in the middle, like he had to choose between the two of us, and either way someone was not going to be happy.

This was all before we had any kids, so what I was taking as her being controlling and nosey was really just her being a parent. A mother to a son. I have since understood her though process, what she was going through. But that only came once I had kids of my own.

I often times felt like they hated me, and to be honest I didn't care for them. Once I decided to let that all go, is when things changed. I had to make things right.

Don't get me wrong, there are times that the things they do get under my skin. That I may become frustrated or annoyed, but that happens with everyone. The last fight I had was actually with his dad, and it happened about a year ago. It was a pretty big one, I was being a jerk and the way they handled the situation was anything but right. We all said some pretty hurtful things to one another. But we said our apologies, Tim stood by me, and we have moved on.

Our relationship today is the best it's ever been, in my opinion. I sure do hope they feel the same way. It's hard though when you have been through as much as we have to really know if they have let it go, if they have moved on. Of course they are so nice to me, and would do anything for me and Tim.

I really do care for them, and appreciate all they do for our family. I have learned and grown, and changed. I am so grateful that they are apart of our lives. I truly hope they feel the same way about me.

Do you need to clean out your closet? Get things off your chest? Want to share a story of any kind? Head on over to FTLOB and join in!


Liz said...

My closet cleaning was basically about the same thing...except that I care too much about the reaction so it taints me and my actions. I have had similar experiences with family...but they have not moved on and told me to my face that they will never move on. Our relationship is forever broken.

Such drama queens! But this only further seems to ingrain my thought that I have to change me so everyone will like me. I hate that.

Thanks for sharing!!!

Ross said...

Thanks for sharing this! Found your honesty to be quite refreshing for a change. Found your site through FTLOB. Hope you check my site out sometime.

Nicoolmama said...

Oh, the in-laws!

Combine a boy with his mama and the love that entails. Then bring a woman into the picture- that suddenly means quite a lot to the boy and there are bound to be problems. MIne are preeeettyyyy decent but they have their moments.

thanks for your honesty, friend!


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